Saturday, February 24, 2007

Dealing With Disappointment

I found out yesterday I wasn't one of the selected photographers to attend Review Santa Fe. Today I went down to the Glenbow Museum (which has sold some of my images in their gift shop) to see what needed replacing, and they don't want any more images at the moment. I drove around this afternoon looking for something interesting to photograph (railway yards, industrial side of town, etc.) and didn't find anything.

Rejection is reality. The odds of being successful with every endevour is extremely unlikely and besides, if you only did things which were guaranteed to be successful, then you aren't pushing yourself very hard.

My options to deal with this ego insult include:

- sulking - I'm quite good at that
- getting depressed - I'm a lousy photographer with an over inflated self worth and it was time reality sunk in - my photography sucks - I should give up pretending to be any good... I'm quite good at this too.
- getting mad - those damn so and so's wouldn't recognize a good photograph if it slapped them in the face...
- getting even - I'll write those so and sos and give them a piece of my mind (not that I can afford to give any away)...
- worrying - what if all my attempts fail..., how will I cope, what if I've run out of original ideas, etc....
- give up - I've done this in the past - one time I gave up photography for 15 years - dumn idea!
- pick your own dysfunctional response
- cry on someone's shoulder - not bad, I can recommend this one
- pretend it didn't happen - that's a tough one - I'm not very good at that
- put it behind me and move on - perhaps submitting elsewhere (though it would be a pity not to learn from this experience).
- use cognitive therapy techniques to analyse faulty thinking and look at what was really being said here - this is definitely on the right track - and I'll explain more

I'm sure you can come up with some other responses, some of them likely others useful (usually not both).

In my role as a physician doing a fair amount of work in mental health, I had to learn about counselling and in particular about cognitive therapy - a form of counselling that has some scientific backing and track record to it.

One part of cognitive therapy is teaching patients to analyse their thoughts for cognitive or thinking errors. These take a number of forms and this isn't a course in cognitive therapy, but some of the errors in thinking apply to photographers dealing with rejection. it teaches you to analyse what was actually said, not what you inferred.

I have been rejected by this one person or group - therefore I'm going to be rejected by everybody - that's called generalization

This person doesn't like my photographs enough to select them for publication or whatever, therefore all my photographs suck - black and white thinking.

So, having got past the inital disappointment, I reread the email and in fact it included a fair amount of description of why the majority of the 592 photographers were rejected - either their portfolio wasn't a single project, or done with a single technique, or the style of photography was derivative.

Well, after calming down I remember that while all the images I submitted were industrial, some were close ups, others much further back, some were new new and shiny objects, others were rusted and old, images varied from container ships to old mine equipment.

It may be true that the images weren't good but my portfolio was not well defined and could easily have been rejected for that reason alone. I have no right to assume the work had no merit.

they said some photographers work was deriviative - well frankly I think all photographs are derivative - it's nigh on impossible to create new interesting work without a working knowledge of what has gone before. Of course, they may have meant that they were looking for odd, funky and really different images, which mine certainly weren't. I refuse to appologise for that - it's the kind of work I do and wouldn't change that if I could.

People often compare my work to that of Edward Burtynsky, another much more successful, well known and talented photorapher also from Canada and also photographing industrial subjects. I don't happen to think his images look anything like mine. His epmphasize destruction of landscape by industry and have more political overtones (I'd be more popular with galleriesif I followed suit but it isn't what i want to do). His images generally step back and include the surroundings - mine move in and are more abstract and I think creative (or at least created) images.

When rejected, it's important to put the rejection into perspective. Is there evidence that your photography is in fact worth while. Who has in fact mde nice comments about your work, who asked for a print, which publications accepted your work, etc.

Before ever getting published, this can be a tough one, but perhaps your work was admired or even given prizes at the local camera club. Maybe you were able to persuade a local bistro to hang some of your work, hey, at least your mother says she likes your photographs!

In the end, you have to ask yourself, did I set out on this adventure called photography so I could become famous, or so I could express myself, or so I could make money.

If the latter, then baby photographs, pets and weddings are probably the right direction to make the big bucks, if your goal is to become famous, then you have chosen a hard way to do it, bank robbery might be a better alternative (see getting rich), if you photograph to express yourself (and it's ok to like people saying nice things about your work), then does it really matter in the long run that one person or group didn't need your photographs that you submited, at this time?

Hell, I just want to go photographing.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was a great post George. I think I have tried all of those options in dealing with my own ego insult.

Paul said...

Great article. I liked your idea about becoming famous through bank robbery! :-) It's a sure way to get your 15 minutes!

Sometimes disappointment is a tough pill to swallow, indeed. Also, given that art is so highly subjective, it's tough to understand the decisions as to why something was chosen, and something wasn't. Each judge is driven by his/her personal preferences. Some people might not like rust! :-)

I'm not much into photography contests because, quite frankly, I photograph to express myself and to have a good time, not to compete. I have entered only 2 contests in my life. One, I won. The other, I didn't place. So, I'm 50% ... mind you, this in over 20 years behind the camera.

The second one I just recently entered. I went and looked at the winners and thought, quite honestly, that I had submitted better, more thought provoking photographs than those chosen; however, Que Sera, Sera! That's life.

It will probably be a long time before I enter into another contest. Not because I didn't place, but because I forced myself to get into that one at the urging friends. I just find that it is not for me.

Keep on pushing, George. Do what you like to do! To hell with the critics and judges!

Anonymous said...

I've had way more rejections and failures than I've had successes...but I keep on keepin' on. I do it for my love and obsession for photography, but also I do long for commercial and professional success. I can't imagine doing anything else, so a lifetime of failure doing what I love outweighs the prospect of a successful life doing something I feel no passion for. For me, that defines success.

Andy Ilachinski said...

George,

Wonderful post (as always!), and as others have said, I too can empathize all to well with the "recovery" process. I'd like to add one more observation: there is a *profound* difference between feeling rejected when a particular "group" of people (NOT of your choosing!) has expressed a "disinterest" in your work, and not having *anyone* at all respect your work (which I suspect is not at all the case here, as you likely get many, many accolades from all kinds of folks; just not necessarily the one's you *target*). As an artist, the hardest pill to swallow, I think, would be a truly sad fact that NO-ONE appreciates what you've created; that a FEW have not (because of personal taste, and so on) is, in the final analysis, largely irrelevant. One thing my wife has taught me (well, continues to teach me, as I've not learned well enough I'm afraid;-) is to acknowledge the accolades that DO come from those I have not explicitly sought any feedback from with the same depth of feeling I (unfortunately) display when NOT receiving the accolades from others I have sought that from. Long winded as always on my part (sorry), but my way of saying (1) "Thanks!" for a wonderful post; and (2) you are a gifted artist sir, and the fact that a particular judge at a particular time and place chose not to assert that fact, says absolutely nothing about the veracity of the fact.

George Barr said...

Excellent comments all and much appreciated.

Anonymous said...

You have a tremendous sense of humour -- I can see that has kept you sane during these down periods! Yes, well, what is success? Me, I just do it because I want to! Mistakes and all!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post! A friend has recently been rejected by an LA gallery from a big digital photography juried show, and I must say he has rebounded with healthy grace. I am a painter, and have also experienced rejection. I don't take it personally, and realize there are many reasons for why submissions may not suceed, some of these you covered in your post. One must be realistic in assessing their own work and where it may fit best. It is best to develop along one's pathway of intentions and ideas than to do a scattershot approach to producing work not true-to-the-personal sensibility and fitting work to imagined standards and expectations.